Category Archives: Military

I Used To Blog About Non-political Stuff Too

I have memory of it. Enough memory to point out when I got a dog. (Which is a big deal when you are a cat person who is allergic to cats.)

Also I have enough memory to recall when our poor rescue dog had to endure her first move. God bless a beast who has no idea what’s going on, except knowing that it’s new.

When you have been previously abandoned, new is bad.  Very bad.

Since then, our dear Sussie has recovered from moving, then recovered from losing an eye, then recovered from moving again, and again, and then . . . bless her heart, seriously.  Last year, we rescued a lab puppy through this website.

What a challenge, for both dogs and humans. We were not fully prepared for an energetic (yet still worm-riddled and sickly) hard-headed boy with an insatiable need to chew and an unfortunate habit of toileting indoors.

We were also not prepared for the full bore resistance Sussie would wage against a new dog that dared invade her personal territory.  Her first day was spent underneath the pillows on our bed.  For the next month she wouldn’t share the same room with this interloper. Ever.

Frankly, I wanted to hide with Sussie.  This new dog was a gigantic pain in the ass.  Yet, also cute.  So cute.  IMG_7614

This photo of Sailor was taken last fall.  Since then he’s been house trained, leash trained, and trained for basic commands. Also, he has learned that excessive begging just gets you crated.

Today he is bigger, but just as happy:

IMG_8259.JPGHappy dog owning!  From the happiest dog-owning cat-lover to have ever typed words.

Loyalty Test: You Fail!

“NeverTrumpers are appealing to their conservative friends based on emotional claims that I recognize as false, deluded, and selfish.  One friend said, ‘Who wins the election does not matter as much as the need to vote one’s conscience.’  This statement is stunningly prideful and childish.  The voting booth is not a ride at Six Flags, and elections are not part of a consumer experiences.  The White House is not Burger King, where you get things your way.

Of course who wins the election is more important than your precious conscience or how you feel about voting.  Your country matters more than you do.”

Normally, this base-level attempt at manipulation would piss me off. But the thing is, I know that my life experiences are not typical. I know that most civilians don’t even think about veterans and service members when they throw insults around like “of course who wins the election is more important than you.”

Wait . . . what? Something bigger than me is more important?!  I never!  Well, except for that time I raised my right hand and solemnly swore: “I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same.”

So, yeah. Folks can throw insults about how “your refusal to ___insert loyalty test here         ” means you are deluded, selfish, proud and childish.

But if you’ve actually already signed on to the ultimate loyalty test, by having once taken the Oath of Office, well.  Attempts to guilt-trip you fall pretty flat.

Slight edits for compulsive need to polish style. Sorry bout that.


Hub is Home!

Hub got home from Afghanistan the night before Thanksgiving.  So we had a lot to be thankful for.  The boys were wonderfully surprised.

Any deployment veteran will tell you: never ever tell the kids the precise date to expect Daddy’s return.

First of all, you often don’t know the date until the end.  Even if you do get the date sooner, it is subject to last-minute change or even weather delays.  Lastly, are you crazy?  Do you want your children losing their minds and crawling the walls for the last couple of weeks of countdown?

It’s a hundred times worse than any Christmas, birthday, or vacation countdown.

Maybe a thousand.  IMG_5417

Because I am wicked, I maintained the element of surprise all the way to the airport pickup.  I told them we were picking up Uncle John from a business trip.  This ruse was a plausible one, so they were looking hard for the wrong face.  The right face got right in front them before they recognized it.

Good times.

And for once I’m not being sarcastic.

This week’s post at Da Tech Guy is about Afghanistan.  Please do click over if you have the time!

Some Advice for Civilians


I love you guys.  You are so quick to befriend us when we move into your neighborhoods and communities.  You open your homes and your hearts, and you really respect my husband’s military service and the family sacrifices this service entails.

It is out of this love that I am writing this post.  To help you guys.  Because, as big as your hearts are, and as much as you respect us, you sometimes don’t know what to say.  When it comes to frequent moves and regular deployments, well, you sometimes don’t know what not to say.

I’m here to help.  With a list.

1.  Unless we are leaving in six months or sooner, don’t ask if we know where we are going next.  We don’t know.

2.  Don’t tell me about how you warn your children not to get too attached to our children because we will move in a couple of years.  That bothers me a little.

3.  Don’t tell me about the people you know who are totally messed up because of the frequent military moves during their childhood.  Seriously you guys.  It’s exactly like you are saying to me, “wow, your kids are screwed!”

4.  If my husband is deployed, and you haven’t seen me in a while, don’t say, “Wow!  He’s been gone ___ months already?  Time has just flown by!”  I know you mean that in an encouraging way, but a deployment only flies by when it’s not your loved one who is gone.

5.  If my husband is deployed, and you know of someone whose husband was deployed for a longer period, do not say, “Count your blessings, at least he is not gone as long as so-and-so!”  I know you mean to be encouraging, but I struggle with feeling insulted.  I’m already aware that many military families have it a lot tougher than we do.  To point out that fact somehow diminishes my own efforts.

6.  When the deployment is coming to a close, do not ask, “do I have a date yet?” in front of my childrenEven if I have a return date, I have not told them.  It’s hard enough for grownups to handle the anticipation, let alone children.  And even though they don’t know the exact date, they know the time is soon.  The end of deployment is a hundred times harder to wait for than Christmas Day.  So don’t remind them!

7.  There is another important reason you should not ask, “do I have a date?”  Even if I have one, there is no such thing as a guarantee in the military.  Big things (like 9/11) can interfere.  Even little things, like VIP visits or unexpected airplane maintainance, can delay a return.  Not only do I need to protect my children from being disappointed by the “needs of the military,” but frankly I need to protect myself from that too.  So don’t ask me zero in on a certain day.  Okay?

Okay.  Perhaps now you are thinking, well, cripes.  What am I allowed to say, that won’t offend your mysterious milspouse sensitivities?

I’ve got a list for that too.  Things you should say to military spouses:

1.  “How are you doing?”  Simple, I know.  It may even sound impersonal, but remember that if you know my husband is deployed, you will say it with an intonation that says, “have the kids driven you crazy yet?”

2.  “How are the kids doing?”  This may also sound impersonal, but it’s just another way of asking whether they are driving me crazy.

3.  “Is there anything I can do to help you?”  This is a vague offer of help, so it is not ideal, but I’ll take it in a pinch.  It might be that I was wishing the younger child didn’t have to come along to a soccer game, and I’ll say, yes.  Can you look after younger son for a few hours?  So don’t ask unless you mean it.

4.  “If there is any time when you need help, please let me know.”  This is the invitation to call you, should I ever need to take one child to the ER in the middle of the night.  I am not likely to take you up on this offer, but still.  I’m glad you offered.  It’s reassuring to know you can leave the healthy child with someone if you really have to.

5.   “Would you like to do ____ with us this weekend?”  One of the primary objectives of a military spouse during deployment is keeping busy.  Time goes by faster when you are busy.  Getting lots of invitations helps us keep busy.  So thanks.  Whether it is a church function, a sleepover, a day at the beach, or a trip to Walt Disney World, I am glad to have the opportunity.  Thanks for asking me!

6.  “Would you like me to take your sons to ____ activity?  You don’t have to come along.”  The answer is yes yes YES!  I do want you to take my sons to ____ activity!  And I do want to stay home!  This kind of offer makes you a sort of platinum level milspouse supporter.  Just in case you were wondering how to score a home run with your local military family.

Well, that’s about it.  In case you were wondering, yes.  Every single one of the items listed have actually occurred.  If it is negative then no, it wasn’t you.  It was someone else.

DoD Fakes Arrival Ceremonies Of Recovered Remains

These staged arrival ceremonies started seven years ago.  Seven.  Years.  Ago.  Who thought this rather sick version of a dog & pony show was a good idea?

Unfortunately, it is a good example of how military commands can become just as bloated and out-of-control as the rest of federal government.

The most disturbing part the original story: “In July, The Associated Press ran a story exposing a 2012 internal JPAC report that found . . . some missions that amounted to little more than paid vacations for staffers.”  Shameful.

Also, “Much of the inefficiency found by the GAO researchers comes down to a turf war between JPAC and the Defense Prisoner of War/Missing Personnel Office, which shares some of the same responsibilities, Congressional sources said.” A turf war. 

I’m feeling embarrassed about the state of those military commands.  Way to represent, people.

P.S.  Sorry I haven’t been around much, folks.  Thanks for still coming by.  I’ll get back to a regular routine when hub’s deployment is over.

Thanks for the Flowers

Happy 15th Anniversary, hubs.

Thanks for the flowers.  They are beautiful.  See you in a couple more months.


The Gods of the Carryout Fortunes Are Pleased

I may not have my husband around to appreciate me, but by golly I’ve done enough to get noticed.



Yes.  I am working hard, oh gods of the carry out.  Thank you for noticing!  Also, I’m hoping that a sacrifice of uneaten egg rolls and wonton chips will please you, because the leftover chicken will make a great lunch tomorrow.