And the Winner of the Worst Cover Evah Contest is . . .

I counted a total of five votes for the winning cover.  I included votes from the first comment string, the second comment string, and also from the excellent submissions over at Dustbury. (Did you know that Rod Stewart covered “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman?”)  Second place goes to Mr. Spock for Proud Mary.  Honorable mentions go to both Celine Dion and Disturbed, for garnering defenders of their art.

The winner is . . . Miley Cyrus!

Woo hoo, come and collect your prizes Ms. Cyrus:  an assortment of Rice-a-Roni and a Porcelain Dog.

No, not really.

There are no prizes here.  Only snark, and sometimes gnashing of teeth.

Thanks for all participation, and especially thanks for not forgetting about me during this extended absence.

Worst Cover Song EVAH Contest

We signed a lease for a new place!  One catch:  it’s not ready until the beginning of August.  The gypsy life continues.

But don’t feel sorry for us.  Entirely too-gracious family members have taken us in.  (Maybe feel sorry for them.)

In the meantime, errands and paperwork abound.  Go to medical to get the Tricare Region transferred . . . check.  But you can’t do dental here.  You’ll have to call this number.  And you can’t request transfer of medical records today, because you aren’t in the system yet.  You’ll have to come back.  Rinse, repeat, et cetera, ad nauseam, for every single aspect of life.

I’m not complaining.  Really!  Just . . . explaining.  You know, why I haven’t been essaying about politics.  (The upholding of Obamacare took the wind out of my sails, too.)

Hopefully, the boys’ school situation will be sorted soon.  And the to-do list will shorten.  In the meantime:  contest!  I’ll not do one of those fancy poll thingies, as that requires more steps and I am currently both lazy and tired.  So just leave your vote in the comment section.

Now, when I casually declared Gwen Stefani’s “It’s My Life” the Worse Cover Ever, clearly I spoke too soon.  Because, wow.  Y’all brought some serious competition into the mix.  Here they are, in no particular order.  Late submissions are fine; just add it in a comment.

I’m not sure how long I’ll let the contest run.  Probably until I actually have something useful to add to the blogosphere.  Which could be awhile.

And no, the Talk Talk cover didn’t even make the cut.  Seriously, I’ve been humbled and awed by the disturbing array of wrongness which you readers have brought forth.  I’m not even sure which one I’d choose.

Concluding confession:  I kinda liked Celine Dion’s cheesy rendition of AC/DC.  I’m not even a Celine Dion fan, so it’s hard to explain why.  Maybe because she is the best singer in the world.  Maybe because it was Vegas.  Maybe because Anastacia sang too.

Don’t judge me.

Well It Makes Sense . . .

that the perpetrator of the worst cover song ever would be an Obama Zombie.

Don’t watch it, but here it is:

When that Betty Boop abomination hit the charts, my Talk Talk CD sure came in handy.

A Great Compilation

Even brief exposure to the cover version requires a thorough cleansing of the palate:

If the live version isn’t cleansing enough, the official video is here.

I’d say “shut up about politics and just sing, Gwen Stefani,” but then she might defile another beloved band’s song.

So I’ll just say, “shut up.”

PS:  Any other covers that you think are even worse?  Tell me!  We’ll have a “Worst Cover Song Evah!” contest.

Offending Feminists Through Music

Participating in Stacy McCain’s fourth annual Offend A Feminist Week is both an honor and a pleasure.  I know, I know:  some folks will not find this exercise “helpful,” but let me explain why they are wrong.

Actually, let me allow Mr. McCain to explain, since he’s a man and therefore much smarter than me:

“The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims.  Victimhood is synonymous with power. To deny women their victimhood is therefore to re-victimize and disempower them.”

Thanks so much for clearing my mind on this issue, Mr. McCain.  I was starting to wonder:  why in the world is making fun of my own gender so much fun?

It’s fun because, unlike the typical feminist of today, I’m not empowered by victimhood.  I am empowered by throwing off the shackles of political correctness.  To reject political correctness is to liberate one’s mind.  Even if it’s a feeble female mind.

Snort.

I participated last year with a post still worth a click if you didn’t back then.  Dunno if I’ll be able to wax as profoundly poetic this year, what with all the homeskooling, cooking, and house cleaning I have to do.

Sometimes, it’s hard to be a woman.

Which leads me to the musical portion of my post.  There’s something here for everyone, young and old, so just scroll down ’til you find your style.

Country?

Or good old-fashioned?  How about Andy Williams, singing a Bacharach tune to warn us ladies:

“Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger you needn’t try anymore.  For wives should always be lovers, too.  Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you, I’m warning you . . .

Day after day, there are girls at the office, and men will always be men.  Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers.  You may not see him again . . . .”

Speaking of classic, there is always Elvis:

If 60′s were your decade, scroll no further.  Mick Jagger will offend you now:

It’s down to me
The way she talks when she’s spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She’s under my thumb
Ah, take it easy babe

(Ain’t the women screaming with rapture an extra kick in the feminist pants?)

And check out this more obscure 60′s song, Be A Caveman:

Were you a teen in the ’80′s, like me?  If so, you might appreciate a little B-Boys.  This one’s dedicated to MCA:

And finally, I just heard this song on the radio yesterday, and I right like it.  Language warning, however.  Apparently, it’s a bluegrass-style cover of a rap song:

Happy Offending, everyone!

P.S.  Which song was your favorite?  Do you have one that should be added?

(Hat Tip:  I found several of these songs at drownedinsound.com.)

Cross-posted at Disrupt The Narrative

It Came From Nashville

Work hard, rock hard, eat hard, sleep hard, and wear glasses if you need ‘em.

Ring a bell to anyone?

No?

Well.

I owned this album, back in the day when albums were vinyl, and I couldn’t afford to buy many.  Of all the cowpunk and rockabilly talent in Nashville during the 80′s, I never understood why Webb Wilder didn’t make the big time.  (If you follow the Nashville link, by the way, one of the listed bands included none other than my brother-in-law.)

Fast forward twenty-plus years, and surprise, surprise.  I just don’t follow the music scene the way I used to.  A few weeks ago, however, hubs and I had a rollicking retro Friday night perusing the YouTubz for stuff from our youth.  We started out with classic commercials like Wendy’s Soviet Fashion Show.

Then, hubs had a random memory of Human Cannonball–a great, great song.  Under the You Tube video screen was the announcement:  playing at Knuckleheads, Kansas City Nov 5th.  Webb is lead DJ on an XM channel these days, and his music is making a comeback.  Sweet!

The babysitter’s booked.

I’m a human cannonballlll-hall, ya’ll.