Time To Offend A Feminist!

The things you miss when you fail to make the rounds.

Lesson learned.  At least two days are left.

This is the third annual Offend A Feminist Week, created by none other than Rule 5 creator Stacy McCain.  His inaugural post decimates decades of feminist construct in the space of six paragraphs.  My favorite bit:

Nothing so offends a feminist as the idea that somewhere there might be a woman who considers it an honor and privilege to be “Just a Mom.”

Ooh!  That somewhere is here, in my house.  I’m a stay-at-home.  Worse than that, I had a professional career and dumped it.  Best thing I ever did outside of marrying hubs.  The next best thing after that would be having the kids.  See where I’m going with this?

Time to use the quote Bob Belvedere found:

As a male stay-at-home wifey, every week is National Offend a Feminist Week for me.  I accomplish it by breathing.

This week is celebrated mostly thru Rule 5 and vintage sexist advertisements.  I don’t have to tell you gents to see Mr. Belvedere for Rule 5.

Matt’s Hideout is the place for vintage advertisements, and they are hilarious:

Here’s Your Breakfast In Bed Dear, Please Don’t Beat Me Again!

Wives Belong In The Kitchen!

If You’re Fat It’s Because You Don’t Do Enough Housecleaning, Lazy Cow!

Oh My, Naughty Wifey’s Been Buyin’ Cheap Coffee

I had no idea this kind of humor used to be acceptable.  Or is it humor at all?

I’m at a loss.  The pre-feminist world is alien to me.  Any readers old enough, do tell what it was like.  I mean what it was really like, not what feminists tell us about the horrible old patriarchal order.  During my lifetime, our culture entirely absorbed the tenets of feminism.  Even conservative women usually have feminist beliefs of varying degrees.

Okay, I’ve used this word “feminist” several times, and I know that people disagree about even its most basic definition.  I don’t want to get into that.  I just want to get straight to the offending.  So here it goes.   

There is nothing wrong with this image of a woman being a man’s servant.

There, I’ve said it.  Servant.  Servile.  Serve.  We think it’s great when applied to military service, religious pursuits, or feeding the poor.  Why does it make us wince when it’s applied to a woman’s relationship with a man?

Perhaps the implication of force (he is showing her her place) makes us uncomfortable.  Perhaps the discomfort is increased with her place being so obviously beneath him.

But what if this image does not involve any force?

Ah, how can that be?  No woman with half a brain would choose to serve a man in this servile manner!  Would she?  And anyways, if she chooses to do so, then why does he have to show her anything?

Well, why would any woman with half a brain choose to serve an unmanly, unworthy guy?  It’s actually kind of quaint, this ad.  The idea appears to be that you’ll impress your wife by sporting these ties in bed.

Is it possible that our equality-obsessed culture could rob us of a great joy?

Here’s what I’ve noticed.  We are all serving something or someone.  All the time, every second of every day.  By blogging right now I am currently serving myself.  When I’m not serving myself, I’m serving the kids, or the hubs, or a friend by babysitting or hanging out.

When you work, you are serving a variety of things and people:  yourself, your boss, wealth, customers, clients, the public, the government.  Of course, there’s also the whole “serve God in all things” thing that the Bible throws in the mix.

The world I live in tries to tell me that serving my husband is demeaning.  It is not.  Of all the myriad people and things that I have served over the years, nothing has been more gratifying.

About these ads

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36 thoughts on “Time To Offend A Feminist!

  1. roxannadanna 7 May 2011 at 11:30 am Reply

    Reminds me of that old Bob Dylan song:

    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
    You’re gonna have to serve somebody
    Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

    I grew up in that period of time when those kinds of ads were ‘okay.’ And surely not offensive to women. I find them funny and quaint. I serve my husband – it’s my duty as a wife. But he serves me, too, in lots of ways. That’s what a loving relationship is all about… imo.

    Love this post, Linda! It made me smile!

  2. Freedom, by the way 7 May 2011 at 11:41 am Reply

    Great post! I had my son sorta late (36) and completely reshuffled my life to accomodate spending more time with him. The last several years I’ve been freelancing out of my home. Do I miss some things about the corporate life and the extra money? Of course. Do I regret being here everyday when my son gets home from school? Not having to pawn my son off on day care? Of course not! I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in life, but putting family first isn’t one of them! I’m glad I’ve been able to do what I’m doing.

  3. Country Thinker 7 May 2011 at 2:23 pm Reply

    You boldly go where no man dare to go… Now act like a REAL woman and get a career going or we’ll MAKE you!

    The irony is the materialism of the modern feminist movement. I’ve written about gender pay differences, and feminists refuse to acknowledge that there is an value to be given to intangible benefits like the reward of parenting, job security, pleasant working conditions, and other things many women pace a value on. But not for a modern feminist, nope. It’s all dollars and cents. Very odd for lefties.

  4. Level_Head 7 May 2011 at 3:26 pm Reply

    There is a science fiction story written by Robert Heinlein decades ago — it’s a long short-story in a novel called Time Enough for Love.

    The story relevant to your post on feminism is “The Tale of the Adopted Daughter.” It is such a delicious relationship between the narrator of the story and the woman who comes into his life.

    This takes place on another planet, far in the future. And these two tackle the land (after surveys from orbit) using mule-drawn wagon trains, shovels, barrels of water, farm tools, and other sorts of equipment exactly appropriate for the trek west across the Sierra Nevada in the 1800s. That aspect is fascinating — but there is something exquisite about the seriousness with which he takes his responsibility to provide for her and protect her, and the earnest way she sets about to keep the home going, raise the family, and keep it happy — that is both a past throwback and a modern ideal.

    As was true in reality in the old days, she could protect the family and he could raise it, and their responsibilities were swapped and overlapped on a regular basis. But I think you would enjoy it — and be perhaps as deeply affected as I was by the ending.

    Some feminists found the story offensive.

    There is a poem that begins the “Tale of the Adopted Daughter,” which from memory begins on page 252 of my copy of TEFL. That poem is one that I know by heart.

    Best wishes! And thanks for the links, by the way — you seem to be single-handedly responsible for attention I’m getting in recent days.

    ===|==============/ Level Head

  5. edge of the sandbox 7 May 2011 at 4:13 pm Reply

    I’m not sure that tie ad is authentic. In any case, these ties are entirely too busy, and there is no way I’m buying a tie like that for my husband.
    The best things that happened to me are marriage and children. And what did I do before then? I dropped out of grad school… and I told them that I’m dropping out to have family. I can’t say I don’t miss school, but we were a bad match. Me and my husband, on the other hand — a good match.

  6. Matt 7 May 2011 at 9:37 pm Reply

    As far as I can tell, the ad is authentic. No way to know, really, but It looks like period advertising.

    I think the exploitable problem with feminists is the fact that like all other liberal groups, they insult and dismiss anyone that does not do as they do. A woman chooses to be a housewife? There is apparently something wrong with her. A woman chooses to not to abort a developmentally disabled child? She’s stupid. A woman dares to disagrees with the feminists? If she is public, she is to be destroyed.

  7. innominatus 7 May 2011 at 10:02 pm Reply

    Pre-feminism: The man says to the woman “Do what I say, OR ELSE!”
    Post-feminism: The feminists say to the other women “Do what we say, OR ELSE!”

    • MK 12 May 2011 at 5:59 am Reply

      That’s exactly it, they’ve merely replaced one master with another.

  8. Little Miss Attila / Joy McCann 7 May 2011 at 10:44 pm Reply

    Well, that’s the old thing: it’s okay to serve by choice (as did indentured servants who got to this country by giving away years of their lives to pay the fare). It’s not okay to serve via coercion (which is slavery). But if the prefeminist world was actively hostile to ambitious or talented women, that put them in a bit of a gray area, no? To deny women any means of self-support other than marriage turns marriage into a job, rather than a joyous partnership.

    I’m afraid that a lot of the “debate” is a semantic issue, and takes us to some unproductive places.

    And yet the answer is not to diss those who fought to open America’s universities to women, opened up some professions that had been closed to us, and secured us the vote.

    I honestly do not understand why some conservatives think that the way to build a movement is to tear down their fellow conservatives.

    And I do not understand why they think that the way to appeal to bright young people is to suggest that we merely want to take them back to the Dark Ages more SLOWLY than do the Islamists.

    I mean, I get that the guys are having fun, but I’m not clear on why they think this is actually helpful.

    At the same time, I agree with the general thrust of what you are saying–anyone who tells me what my life choices HAVE to be, or denigrates the greatest achievements of my sex over the millennia (having children, raising children, maintaining homes, building civilization in important–albeit less-direct–ways) is no friend of mine, so the feminist extremists can also kiss my a**.

    • nooneofanyimport 7 May 2011 at 11:03 pm Reply

      “To deny women any means of self-support other than marriage turns marriage into a job, rather than a joyous partnership.”

      That is an important point. Thanks for coming by and thoughtfully commenting, Joy. I was hoping you’d notice the link and add something to the conversation. I’m honored that you did.

      While women have not been denied employment categorically in the United States, there has nevertheless been restriction, and too much of it.

      This means that feminism was necessary at some point in the past, just as unions and the civil rights movement were.

      Dunno when the unions, civil rights, and feminism outlived their usefulness, exactly. I just know that they have.

      • brucetheeconomist 9 May 2011 at 5:22 pm Reply

        There’s a tendency to always want to fight the last war. I think these organization could be accused of that. That may not imply they should just go away.

    • KingShamus 8 May 2011 at 1:58 pm Reply

      LMA: “At the same time, I agree with the general thrust of what you are saying–anyone who tells me what my life choices HAVE to be, or denigrates the greatest achievements of my sex over the millennia (having children, raising children, maintaining homes, building civilization in important–albeit less-direct–ways) is no friend of mine, so the feminist extremists can also kiss my a**.”

      I think feminists dismiss motherhood because they honestly do not understand the power mothers have in shaping culture.

      For most of the 60′s and 70′s what did feminists–most of whom were ladies of the Left–focus on? Getting women into the workforce. I think they did that because they were convinced that once women had money independent of men, the sisterhood would bring on further reforms which would conform to their basically liberal ideas.

      But what if it hadn’t worked out that way? What if feminists instead attempted to change the way that women raised their kids and ran their households? If the feminists had succeeded in re-educating women about their methods of care-giving and instilling family gender roles, they might’ve made far more progress than they did by focusing on employment and education.

      The reason why they might’ve been more successful if they had adopted that strategy is because the power mothers and wives have is immense. It is a diffuse power, spread over many years and across innumerable households. It isn’t nearly as high profile as, say, the founder of a feminist magazine or the department chairpersonship of gender studies at a well-respected university.

      However, the women of the house has 24/7/365 access to infants and toddlers. That means she can shape the way that children think in ways that feminists in politics, media and academia can only dream about. Spread out over a generation of children, moms have the ability to fundamentally change a society if they choose to do so.

      • Little Miss Attila / Joy McCann 8 May 2011 at 8:15 pm Reply

        I would not assume that liberal ladies don’t realize this. It’s just that there is more to life than just gobbling up power. Really, there is.

        • nooneofanyimport 8 May 2011 at 9:52 pm Reply

          “there is more to life than just gobbling up power.”

          Amen. That is the reason for this post.

        • Country Thinker 9 May 2011 at 10:45 am Reply

          LMA: It’s funny you mention that, because conservatives and libertarians are frequently portrayed as greedy and materialistic, with liberals stopping more frequently to smell the roses. As I wrote a few weeks ago, modern feminist thinkers have taken on a very narrow view of the economics of careers decisions, and focus almost solely on wages. They place little or no value on job security, work environment, home life, and other intangibles that go into making career decisions.

          Nope, it’s all about $$$.

  9. KingShamus 8 May 2011 at 1:59 pm Reply

    By the way, cool thought-provoking post No-1.

  10. brucetheeconomist 8 May 2011 at 6:58 pm Reply

    A lot of good comments. I’ll just pull out my two favorites:

    I grew up in that period of time when those kinds of ads were ‘okay.’ And surely not offensive to women. I find them funny and quaint. I serve my husband – it’s my duty as a wife. But he serves me, too, in lots of ways. That’s what a loving relationship is all about… imo.

    “To deny women any means of self-support other than marriage turns marriage into a job, rather than a joyous partnership.”

    I’m glad that my daughter (my only child) has a much broader range of paths to follow for her life than her mother, or certainly her grand mother. I think feminism deserves some credit for that.

  11. brucetheeconomist 8 May 2011 at 6:59 pm Reply

    Those ties are actually pretty ugly, I’d say.

  12. Level_Head 8 May 2011 at 7:14 pm Reply

    I’m a non-drinker who is fond of neckwear — but now I really understand that it could be inappropriate to tie one on at work.

    ===|==============/ Level Head

  13. [...] III; A Very Important Blogger has some thoughts on National Offend A Feminist Week. She wonders what all the fuss is about when a [...]

  14. Bob Mack 8 May 2011 at 8:10 pm Reply

    Happy Mother’s Day to you & your readers.

  15. nooneofanyimport 9 May 2011 at 10:02 am Reply

    Thanks Bob, KS, Roxy, Freedom, LH, and everybody. I just couldn’t resist an opportunity to practice being politically uncorrect.

    I’ll have to listen to some Bob Dillon and look up some Heinlein.

    And yeah. Them ties are bugly!

  16. Time Traveller 9 May 2011 at 10:24 am Reply

    A great post, particularly the last sentence which is the mark of a genuinely strong and loving person. My own wife has always served me well as I have always endeavoured to serve her. There is nothing demeaning about it: we each play to our strengths.

    I’ve never previously heard of Offend a Feminist Week and don’t think it dares to exist over here. I’ll introduce it!

  17. The Mega Independent 9 May 2011 at 11:16 am Reply

    I once offended a feminist. I told her she looked beautiful and that I really respected her.

  18. [...] NoneOfAnyImport decides to join the frey [and fun] with a bang-on [...]

  19. thatmrgguy 9 May 2011 at 8:23 pm Reply

    Between my first wife and second wife, I dated this gal for a while that was a diehard feminist, ( Hey, I was still young and foolish.), and the thing that used to piss her off the most was when I would hold doors for her or open the car door for her. Her response…” I’m perfectly capable of opening my own damn doors.” Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last long.

    Mike

  20. [...] Is National Offend a Feminist Week over? I suppose so. Nonetheless, I found this post interesting. So I reblogged it anyway.  The things you miss when you fail to make the rounds. Lesson learned.  At least two days are left. This is the third annual Offend A Feminist Week, created by none other than Rule 5 creator Stacy McCain.  His inaugural post decimates decades of feminist construct in the space of six paragraphs.  My favorite bit: Nothing so offends a feminist as the idea that somewhere there might be a woman who considers it an honor and privilege to be “Just a Mo … Read More [...]

  21. [...] reason I choose his Royal Shamus is his thoughtful comment to my Offend a Feminist post.  This comment is good enough to warrant a post of its own.  Citizen Tom noticed, too.  So, [...]

  22. [...] NoOneOfAnyImport’s Blog: Time To Offend A Feminist! [...]

  23. AHLondon 18 May 2011 at 9:46 am Reply

    Is Offend a Feminist Week over? We don’t have it over here, and I just found this blog (and don’t read McCain on a regular) so missed it. I’ve got a slightly different take, one where feminists put down motherhood but obessess over shoes. I know it is late, but I’ll remember the week next year:http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=1863730082072495066&postID=2781594818758295899
    BTW, No One (makes me think of the Odyssey), you have excellent commenters. How’d you do that? I’ve got a decent number of readers but almost no comments, at least on the blog itself.

    • nooneofanyimport 18 May 2011 at 3:52 pm Reply

      AHLondon, the Time Traveller is also in the UK, and he says he’s gonna do it next time too! Spread the word ifn ya got other Brit bloggers who’d be keen. We’ll have to point out the British contingent to Stacy McCain next year. Maybe get a link out of it!

      Speaking of which. I’m not sure what your blog style is, b/c I haven’t perused it yet. But I’m looking forward to doing so.

      Thank you for the compliment re the commenters. They are purty dang special. I’ve spent a year scrolling comment threads and following links to find bloggers that I dig. I mostly focus on small to medium blogs, b/c Big Dogs don’t have as much time for me, LOL. And then I very faithfully comment on their posts, praising ideas whenever I like ‘em, and linking linking linking. The linking is to anyone and everyone, big and small.

      And I’m always trolling for new folks. Like you.

      A sprinkling of blegging has helped (emailing a post saying please link me!), especially Instapundit. I was lucky to get a couple links from him that brought real high-end commenters my way, like Edge of the Sandbox.

      cheers!!

  24. AHLondon 19 May 2011 at 5:33 am Reply

    Re: commenters, ok I feel a little better because I’ve not been trolling for right leaning blogs. That tracks with the liberals don’t like debate meme.
    I went for mom and expat blogs, and I put them on the sidebar. I link–a lot. I comment, though often in opposition, firm but polite, I hope. (What do they expect when they talk about the bad US healthcare system keeping people alive “past their sell-by date”?!) I have back door email communications with more than a few of them, but they don’t link. From my sidebar only two of those bloggers link to me. They rarely comment. Ironically, to them at least, I find that if I want to have a good, reasoned, polite debate on an issue I usually need to find conservatives, especially among women.
    The good news, the bit that keeps me writing, is I know that they read it sometimes.
    One thing I didn’t do yet that I should do now, was pass on an award that one of them sent me early on. I thanked her, but didn’t have 5 small blogs to pass it on to who hadn’t already gotten it. “Cherry on Top” coming your way.

    • nooneofanyimport 19 May 2011 at 3:32 pm Reply

      I’m impressed. By avoiding like-minded blogs and focusing on honest debate with folks that have opposing views, you’ve set the bar extremely high for yourself.

      Me, I’m far lazier. I mean, I’ve had a few debates with left-minded types, but the experience has been rather like pulling teeth and with no visible result. Like this one: http://nooneofanyimport.wordpress.com/2010/09/02/the-restoring-honor-rally-why/

      Some of my blog buds had a debate about whether these debates were a waste of time, and I chimed in here: http://nooneofanyimport.wordpress.com/2010/11/13/will-reason-win-the-day/

      I had no strategy and didn’t know what to expect when I started this blog. At this point, a mere one year later, I resist discussions with folks who say stuff like “don’t keep people alive past their sell-by date.” (WTF you’ll have to send me the link to that convo!)

      I’ve ended up focusing on 1)educating myself 2)venting 3)fellowship with people who share my passion 4)hopefully educating the random, undecided passer-by.

      Thanks for the cherry on top! And thanks for all the work you do to educate even those who may not want to hear it. I bet your little ‘uns keep you busy too.

  25. [...] both an honor and a pleasure.  I know, I know:  some folks will not find this exercise “helpful,” but let me explain why they are [...]

  26. [...] is both an honor and a pleasure.  I know, I know:  some folks will not find this exercise “helpful,” but let me explain why they are [...]

  27. [...] participated last year with a post still worth a click if you didn’t back then.  Dunno if I’ll be able to wax as profoundly poetic this year, what [...]

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